Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

A brief note before I follow up with ALL THE REASONS

Dear friends and followers,

It has been eleventy billion hours since I last posted (yes, that is to the exact minute) on the internets.  I’ve missed you.  I think it’s time for me to come back.  As per the usual…life has been busy….jobs…life…blah blah blah.  I’ll spare you all the excuses.  Because excuses are like A-holes….everybody has one….right?  See…didn’t you miss me?

I have still been keeping up with running and fitness and all that jazzy jazz…..which is why I know that coming back will only be a continuation but also include some new and exciting stuff for me and YOU!  Yay!

Lastly, before I get to all the real ISH…..If you didn’t miss me at all….no worries..because I don’t believe I am that important that it matters anyway 🙂  (awww, listen to me acting all martyr-ish)  For reals though.  I’m just happy people are out there that are even interested….truth be told, I know my dad and stepmom read it…so I got that goin for me 🙂

AAAAAAAAAnd Scene.

Sincerely yours,

k8efitz

 

AAAAAAAAAND NOW!  Back from the depths of the other side of the world but really the suburbs of Philadelphia….me 🙂

 

CATHARSIS:  The last year has been a roller coaster to say the least.  We can all agree that it happens in each one of our lives. 

I was holding on for dear life

Overall, things in general are good.  I have my health, my family, my friends.  All good things.  Several cathartic experiences helped my journey to this point but it was with one major swoop that I managed to find The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love that helped me regain my semblance of self and worth.  If you have never heard of these books, I highly recommend them.  Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love.  You will be doing yourself a favor

It is from these four ideals that we are able to release what we used to think about life and to move forward in order to be a better person.  Inevitably, we have to be the best we can be for ourselves first before we even attempt a relationship.  And I’ve tried to maintain some interesting relationships…friendship or otherwise….the biggest ideal: Don’t take anything personally – is SO EYE OPENING.  Do yourself a favor and check them out.

Because of the emotional catharsis, I’ve been able to improve in all aspects of my life.

My yoga is bendy-er….my cycling/spinning is funner (yes, I know I’m an english teacher and YES, I know that’s not a word….WHO CARES)….my running is safer, cleaner, and more fulfilling than ever before.  My mind finally gets it…and my body is following along.

 

HUBRIS:  Truth be told…a great deal of why I haven’t posted here in the last eleventy billion hours is tied to my hubris.  I am a work in progress…like everyone else.  I am unique…like everyone else (get it?) But for awhile, I was allowing my own stupid pride and fact that I have failed so often, get in the way of being real for myself and all of you.

The last series of posts I wrote on here dealt a lot with my Marathon Training for The Steamtown Marathon last October.  Truth:  I almost didn’t finish.  Had it not been for my amazing support from my dear DEAR friends Heather and Jen….and of course my father who finally picked up the phone when I called him at mile 14 hysterical…..I would have undoubtedly DNF and felt FUBAR’ed……

While I am not going to recap my experience or disappointment, I was emotionally broken down after that race.  I had no desire or love for running and because I used to find so much of my happiness in doing so, I felt lost….sad….concerned I might never recover.  It was weird…and I will get into that for another post with specifics to running…but for now…just know….I am not going to allow my stupid pride get in my way…..

 

OTHER $10 WORDS: 

AMALGAM – Me to a “T” these days.  I am all over the place but the thing I’m maintaining is my workout regiment.  Thank god for running, biking, yoga, and other extra curriculars….

INCREDULOUS – That 2014 is more than half over, that I am where I am today, that I have an INCREDIBLE support system in place, and mostly that things might not always be presented to me in the way I expect but they always have a tendency of working themselves out.

finally,

INTRANSIGENCE – Beyond everything else….I have persevered…and continue to work toward the many goals I have set for myself.  I’ve come to acknowledge and believe in the following(and if you know me, you know that it’s no surprise it’s an Emerson quote):

See you soon!

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end….”

Without being too cliché……I feel that it is no coincidence that this song came on my pandora this morning on my way to work:

Indeed

Indeed

And yes, I am at school before 7am….usually I’m at school by 6:15 (at the latest)…..

With a few minor hiccups in the last couple of days, I am sad to report that today is my last day at the school I’ve been teaching at.  (Read:  I haven’t been fired, my job just ended…the teacher was out on maternity leave)

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions – thus far.  I am sad and nervous and happy and confused.  ALL THE EMOTIONS.  FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS!

At this moment, I am waiting for a few of my students to come back to school and play Just Dance with me.  Yup – you read that correctly.  Some of my students are coming in – on their day off – to play a video game with me.  It’ll be nice to end the day on a positive note.

Elsewhere – I am just trying to maintain some semblance of positivity.  I didn’t workout yesterday – a much needed rest day – but am back to running 6 or 7 miles this afternoon.  Spin class tomorrow and running again on Sunday.

Lots going on – lots to be hopeful for…..I am lucky.  Not a day goes by where I don’t acknowledge that.