The Four Agreements

Posted: March 14, 2013 in Life, Running, Yoga

Good Morning All!

I have been waiting for this book:

It finally came in the mail yesterday – along with the other two in the trilogy.  I am more interested in this book and reading it and re-reading it and having it on hand when I need it.  I do this with a lot of other “spiritual” books.  I’m a thinker.  Truly.  Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you I often think TOO much.  I have that discussion with my dad on many occasions.  Ironically, I also had that conversation with my exboyfriend and him telling me I needed to “turn off the switch” for a little bit.  You see, the thinking gets me inside my own head and in a way drives me crazy.

What do I think about?  Oh….everything.  And that’s not an exaggeration. I am sure many of us have found ourselves thinking about one thing and it leading to the next.  Or how about those nights when you lie awake in bed because you just CAN NOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU FALL ASLEEP OR GET THAT DUMB SONG OUT OF YOUR HEAD?!  (crickets)….NO?  Just me?  Well okay then….

Moving on….

The Four Agreements are as follows:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD – Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak about yourself or gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

  • My Notes/Feelings on this: YES!  Why don’t more people do this?  OH….because IT’S probably one of the most difficult agreement.  Sometimes we find ourselves doing all of these things and not even realizing it.  In the last few months I’ve tried to be more conscious of the words that come out of my mouth – including the actions that follow.  What do we get, as a society, by gossiping?  Truth – there is an entire medium based solely on gossip (reality tv/Entertainment TV/paparazzi, etc).  It’s sad really.  What I try to remind myself is to worry more about myself and whether I am being true to who I am than judging or gossiping about others.  It’s their problem, not mine.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS – Find the courage to ask questions and find what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.  With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life.

  • Truth – I think we are all very guilty of this from time to time.  Some probably more often than others.  If you never assume – GOOD FOR YOU!  You are way more awesomer than me.  Truth – the idiom of ‘when you assume you make an ass out of you and me’ completely holds.  Many people forget that it is NOT a weakness to ask questions.  As a teacher I find that students are more and more afraid to ask because they think they’ll look stupid in front of their peers.  This does not change as we grow up UNLESS you make it happen.  I can admit that I am COMPLETELY guilty of not asking for help as often as I should.  In life – I probably should ask for more help.  In work – I rarely ask for it.  When I was younger (read: in grade school) I found that I could figure out my problems on my own.  In fact, I was usually the one helping everyone else in my classes (NERD ALERT!).  Thankfully, I grew out of that.  As a teacher and a coach – I am always learning.  In life and other occupations – you are always learning.  If you find yourself in a position where you think you have learned everything – GET OUT – RUN – AS FAST AS YOU CAN.  Never stop questioning.  Don’t assume you know everything – it gets you into a pickle.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY (I wish I could enlarge this and underline it a billion times) -Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

  • Woah doggy!  This is VERY serious…and OH SO TRUE.  I learned this one the hard way..and am still learning it with each day.  EVERYONE does this.  Don’t lie.  You know you do or did or still do.  We think that when someone  makes a decision it’s based on us.  It’s not….unless you are Ghandi or Mother Teresa….or someone else who is the most selfless person we know.  Think about it – when you make a decision – ultimately, who is it for?  Obviously this can be argued if you have a family but the decision is still based on the reflection of yourself.  IT’S OKAY!  WE SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO OURSELVES…..that’s what gets us into a mess in the first place (when we don’t).  It all goes back to the first two – Be impeccable with your word and don’t assume.  If you are doing those two – the third one will happen naturally.


ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

  • I say this to my Spinning(TM) classes all the time!  Just do your best – that’s all you can do.  If you think back and realize that you haven’t – just keep trying.  You’ll get there.  I admit, I do not always do my best.  And often I will ‘mail it in’ when it come to accomplishing tasks.  When it counts though (which should be at all times) I work my hardest to do my best.  In those moments I know that I will have no regrets.  It’s hard to ALWAYS do your best but I think what matters most is to figure out exactly what our best is and then go for it.  You know?

So there you have it – today’s food for thought.

Outside of the THINKING portion of today – I am hoping to go to some Power Yoga.  I ran 5.5 miles yesterday – with an aching hip (still under 40 mins – WHAT?!) and it is entirely sore today. SO.  I’ve decided to give my legs a bit of a break from running – at least til next week.  I looked it up and it’s most likely a muscle strain so rest is what I have to do.  I think the yoga and stretching will help.  Besides, I could use the cleanse/strength training.  I’ve noticed my abs are not quite as strong (read:lots of lower back pain) as they used to be when I was going to Yoga 3-4 days a week.  Must fix that.

Regardless.  I want to give a shout out to my friend Dani who is training for an ultra!  Go read her blog.  She’s awesome!

One more food for thought today:




  1. adambarr1106 says:

    Fascinating. I’d always rather think too much than too little. Thinking effectively is like muscle memory. If you do it a lot and you’re good at it, you can learn to turn it down or off occasionally. But if you don’t think enough, it’s hard to make it work for you when you need it.

    As an athlete, you know well the power of mental control to progress and win. Can a person over-think things? Sure. But that’s a lesser risk than under-thinking and its possible consequences. After all, the four truths you discuss require thought to evolve into action.

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